Hmm

Hmm, I have not been on here for a while.

I was thinking about this Prayer/Priesthood blessing connection, and how men and women always bring up "Prayer is so powerful, and women can bless through giving prayers" as a reason why women shouldn't lay their hands upon others heads, and give blessings. And I think "So if prayer is so important, why then don't we turn more toward prayer, then for a priesthood blessing?" And I am starting to think, that most men want hierarchy, at least they have been culturalized that way. And that God gave them priesthood, so that they could all be even, that they all could have a chance to use something, except he didn't always give it to all men. Now he does. I think that is why God the Father and the Son wear white. Its so there is no division between men. Because men like to create competition and they have a tendency more toward outward violence then women do (but doesn't mean that women don't have the same thoughts, we just normally because of culture, and that we think, and that violence usually only really hurts women and children, we just really don't like it), and so there must be something that teaches men brother love and kindness.

I think that laying their hands upon peoples heads, they can exercise their spiritual gifts through the priesthood.

While women exercise their gifts through their priestesshood and motherhood. (yes I said the word Priestesshood, I know its hard for some people to understand, but this is just as I see it).

And maybe the priestesshood is more internal, and just natural, that it just ebbs and flows from women, that we don't need an outward ordination. But women have blessed others, with laying hands upon their head. And women can do that. It was the fact that women where complaining about it being like the priesthood that it was taken away (Which I think was the wrong answer, I think they should have said "You as a daughter of God have power, use it in the way you see fit", which would have been a really good answer, and a strong answer, and would have shut those women up, really women should stop questioning their power, and just use it, and use it in ways that they see fit). I really honestly think sometimes women are the perpetuators of our own oppression. That sometimes we just want to be the silent background workers, so we sometimes make heavenly mother like that. That we project what we want on her. I want her to be everything, sometimes she works visibly, sometimes not, just like her husband does. Sometimes she is active, sometimes she is passive, just like her husband. And she is all those things in her own right, not because of anybody else, including her husband.

And back to prayer and laying on of hands. I think in a way the priesthood blessing is a prayer, its a different prayer. Its a prayer from the words of the priesthood holder, to God, trying to send words of comfort to people. Sometimes we pray or bless for the health of a person, but they soon pass away. Sometimes we do the same thing and they get better. I think it ultimately is God's decision weather or not to grant the blessing, and grant the desires of the prayer. That we are using faith, because sometimes these blessings by laying on of hands or by prayer are just ways to make us humble and give things over to God.

But how do we come to terms that with what we learn in the Temple? I think that would take more thought, and prayer, and just seeking answers. Some of it does make some people who have been through it so shocked, they do leave the church. The entire thing is written out there. The ones by ex-mormons is the older version (before the 1990 revision), and the ones by members shows the changes, and leaves out the signs and tokens. That is what I will say about that here.

How do we as women exercise prayer as a blessing? I do not know exactly, I think we would have to find our own language.

So to summarize, sometimes I think it is this way:

That men are given a hierarchal priesthood, because culture and nature work together to make them that way. If culture was different, and men weren't so wound up in hierachy then they would probably exercise their priesthood differently. I think that women aren't given a defined set of rules about how to use their power, because we just don't really need it. We don't need a defined set of ways to act as a priestess. I think trying to do it with revelation from the prophet and apostles (which are all men) would really ruin the way it should be with women. That women come into their own power, and understand what they can do. And that it is a woman's responsibility to shape how they want to work with in their own priestesshood. I also think that what is stopping us, happens to be our intense feelings about always showing things from the male side, that we are so used to saying priesthood, and him, and his, that we forgot its We and Us, and They and Them in regard to the Godhead. That God is both male and female. And that Male doesn't always come first, and neither does the female that they both work together, and I think they practice something that I like to call "Role Flexibility".

I also think this:

Priesthood and Priestesshood are equal
Fatherhood and Motherhood are equal

I do not equal Motherhood with Priesthood

It makes sense to me this way. It makes sense. We get a small glimpse in the Temple of what a priestesshood can be like, we also get a glimpse that it though it may be seen as equal, it seems near equal more to me.

Hmm, well just my thoughts.

Been a little absent

I have been a little absent. I am going to go about something different actually. I am going to, once I find Red balloons and pink moccasins, do a picture journey, sending messages to Heavenly Mother. The pink moccasins are an invitation to men to take a walk in the shoes of a female in a motherless household. Mother is not visibly present in our life here on earth. We hear about Heavenly Father, and Jesus Christ, and the male holy spirit. But we do not hear of Mother, we do not see her, or understand her touch. We do not know her role. Oh we think we do, but we really don't. Because we don't know the divine mother, we have barely any idea of who we are.

I think I remember it being said that Joseph Smith said something like if we didn't come to know the true nature of God we would fail to understand ourselves. I think we have. Because we do not know the female side of God. I personally, am doing this project by myself, and i invite anybody to join me. I am going to be making a different blog site for it, connected to this account.

Working toward the balance

Wondering about life and living it unbalanced, the more I go toward equality and trying to figure out what equality is, I recognize that my life isn't equal at all, in fact it's highly unbalanced and has always been unbalanced. So how do I get to being just a little unbalanced if in fact my quest for true balance and equality is quite limited right now?

Well, for starters, I must be balanced in myself, I should read news for a few minutes each day and get the gist of what is going on in the world.  I should take time to myself to calm my mind and meditate. I should try what I feel to do in my heart, and even if I fail or don't achieve it, at least I gave it all I have. I need to breath more and take more pauses before I answer. And explain I need to think about it. People get agitated at this one though, so that one is sort of hard to do. I just answer fast and take heat for how my answers may come across then take heat for thinking. I should though be determined to take heat for thinking, then take heat for a hasty answer I may not have meant the way I said it.

I have been a bit unbalanced at times, to a lot unbalanced. I hope I can find, as I work across this road of getting to equality, what balance is and feels like for me.

What works for me may not work for others. But at least I hope it helps gives others motivation to become more balanced.
That though is my Personal quest for balance with in my own life.

However,

How does this apply to a blog on a woman's voice in the Church? Well, isn't it all about balance? I mean, in the Church we have a lot more General Authorities then Women Officers of the Church. Yet the hat is tipped in the favor of the men. Men lead, preside, and women follow. Women have a voice, but not in the big councils. And I will post a PDF on this site in the next few weeks, in a new page, so any one can download it and take a look. I will outline the Leadership decision making bodies of the Church and give different ways of bringing a woman's voice to all those bodies.

That is one way to be balance.

I will write more about it.

Update

updated most pages today, please read the Father and Mother page especially

Today I feel better

Today I feel better, I feel more empowered, I feel more capable, I feel stronger, I feel unique, I feel like me. I feel that I'm not alone. I feel better.

I may have my downward spirals, but I feel that now I can share it.

This is Women's voices rising, and particularly, my voice is rising. I am for equality, and for highlighting women's voices in the church. Please read the "About this site" page, and go through other pages and see what is going on.

Thanks for stopping by and please stop by again.